Golden Girl Summer smells like ripe melons, cool cucumbers, and crunchy green apples in a mixed up in a fruity frozen drink in a frosty glass with teeny tiny umbrellas on top.

It smells like my hot girl summers are retired and my Megan knees are deactivated.

This summer I'm all about relaxing, being comfortable, and cool. Comfort me ALL THE WAY UP! 

Comfy lounge sofas inside in the air conditioning. A luxurious new muumuu with no panties on. Free valet parking because I’m not walking in this heat.

Day drinking at day parties. Home by 7. In bed by 9:30. Soft musk and eucalyptus and sea salt burning in the background. The fan is on and I'm rubbing my feet together watching true crime shows.

If you wanna do anything other than this this summer, don't invite me. I ain't comin'.